29 weeks

Just started the third trimester. I’m super exhausted but doing ok otherwise. A fair amount of hip pain and under belly pain when I got for long walks or carry my little toddler too much.

Can’t believe it’s Christmas already. Haven’t really felt in the christmas spirit this year, not sure if it’s due to the mass amounts of charges that have happened in the last 6 months or something else but I’ve been trying with music, baking, Christmas crafts etc without much luck. I’m excited to see how the kids react to our Christmas morning ( we will be doing it on the 28th as that’s when we have my oldest daughter for her Christmas holidays). All the kids are capable to opening and enjoying gifts this year (16m, 3.5 and 10.5) which makes things more fun I feel.

Our 10.5 year old has becoming a preteen for the last little while, it’s been hard cause she wants to be alone all the time and doing her own thing so picking out gifts wasn’t exactly easy but I’m hoping she is able to enjoy them.

Our 16m old is at the get into everything / climb everything stage so we decided again doing a tree this year which I’m sure isn’t helping the spirit.

Surprise pregnancy 3

So. It happened to us. Never ever thought we would be those lucky couples who accidentally get pregnant. Here we are though, at 19weeks. We always intended to have another baby but had wanted a larger gap then our first two pregnancies. Alas God had different plans.

On June 5th I got my first period pp my son was 9 m old, I felt my milk supply drop but it returned after a few days of cluster feeding. Little did I know that would be my last period as well. Around July 7th ish I noticed he was clusterfeeding again and figured I was going to get my period soon as I was due for it but wasn’t too concerned about it as my period before kids was super irregular and my period between kids the first time was irregular. A couple days later I start barfing my brains out and I knew.

Took a test and bam two lines. I was totally shocked. With both kids pregnancies we experienced infertility and here we were pregnant by accident. I felt and still do feel so embarrassed to admit that. Our baby is so wanted and we are thrilled to be completing our family but I feel guilty to have the babies so close together knowing how hard the first few Months were on our now 3 year old and she was older. I am worried it will be too much and I won’t be able to have the space and I time I need to bond properly with baby and give my two other kids what they need for me.

When we told friends and family with a few exceptions it was received very poorly. A few not responding to it at all, an obligatory congrats or just wow.. already. My mom is thrilled, she loves our kids, she’s nervous for us but not less excited for us. It was hard for me especially when I was struggling with it a bit myself.

Now I’m feeling better about it, I love my baby and am excited to meet him or her and that’s staving off my reservations and my fears of failing my family.

Now almost half way through, things have been harder in my physically, experiencing things earlier pain wise, sore back, nerve pain, sore pelvis, etc. I had more nausea this time around then the first two and a lot more puking especially during the night. Insomnia has been worse starting with all the puking during the night.

Baby seems to be doing well, we heard the heart beat a few days ago and sounded normal and strong. We haven’t had an ultra sound yet but will be in the next few weeks. 5 more months to go. Due March 15th.

Me at 13/14 weeks just starting 2nd trimester

20 weeks halfway there

14m old

My baby boy is 14m old yesterday. It was a sad day as I think he is now totally weaned. It’s been over 24hours without nursing him at all. I wish we could have gone longer but once again as soon as I got pregnant (more in that) my milk supply plummeted and breast became super sensitive and painful to nurse. We got pregnant when he was about 10 m old so he was nursing like a newborn again to keep my supply up while we waited until he was 12m to transition to other milk sources. At 13m he was only nursing 3 or 4 times a day but still quite frequently through the night. The last two weeks he dropped all night feeding and only was nursing before his nap/s and bed. The last week he stopped nursing before naps and then the last 3 nights only before bed and then last night totally stopped. I really wanted to nurse him until he was 2 but once I was pregnant I knew that wasn’t happening. Our journey was so much better then with my first, so smooth, we never had to supplement, I never pumped except one day when he was super sick and almost hospitalized and refusing to eat all day at 4 m. I really hope my next breastfeeding journey can be as smooth and lovely. Fair well nursing for at least 4 or 5 months.

Baby 1 is 38 months( aka 3 years)

Our beautiful fiery red head is so stereotypical it’s not even funny. She’s incredible. Independent, fierce, smart, stubborn, funny, cute, never needs sleep and has a temper I’ve never seen the likes of before.

She doesn’t do too well with change, it really throws her off, it definitely makes temper tantrums much worse and sleep unheard of. Once she’s settled though, she’s a lot better.

She’s a really quick learner and probably would pass kindergarten entry level exam. She knows her number to 20 or 30, Her alphabet, all the colours, she recognizes street signs, can draw quite well, she want to learn everything, like right now. I’m sure she will be reading by the time she’s 5.

She a style fashionista, needs to wear what she needs to wear, loves to dress up and she has the most amazing imagination. She loves playing with dolls and babies. She loves building with blocks or whatever is around, boxes, blankets, chairs, whatever she will build something with it. She loves stuffed animals and had way too many. She loves doll houses and playing cars with her dollies. She also likes her tablet and watching movies most notedly princess movies, trolls/smurfs and animal movies.

She’s been “potty trained” about 6 months and 100% had peeing down but still does not like doing number two on the potty. She will not use a training potty and must use the normal one. She wakes up dry almost every morning but for now we are keeping her in training pants for sleep.

She hasn’t napped since 18 months but has been in her own room and bed since 20 months as well. Often she comes into our bed or comes to find us but will resettle with a cuddle in her own bed normally. Initially falling asleep for the night had always been a probably and still is. Thanks to melatonin we have a somewhat normal routine now, this took almost 2 years and lots of Drs/paediatrician appointments and while I am not happy about finding the cause for her unableness to fall asleep on her own, I am happy to not be spending 4-6 hours at bedtime holding her while she cries and screams herself to sleep anymore. Most night it’s 30-45 mins to get her to fall asleep (normally without crying) and that’s a real blessing. I’m also going to note, we have done exactly the same things with baby 2 as we did with her, fallowing cues and readiness signs and he is a wonderful sleeper, so I’m extremely grateful for that as well as reassured it, in fact is not our fault she is this way.

Another thing we have always struggled with since she was born has been eating, at birth it was breastfeeding issues, I was diagnosed with insufficient breast tissue as the cause for this but she continued to lose more and more weight until I was strongly encouraged to supplement by the health nurse. Shortly after she started to put weight on but needed to be nurses every hour to 2 hours day and night the first 16 months until I got mastitis and then became pregnant and weaned her at 20 months. Once she was 6 month she had all readiness signs for solids but never had much interest. Around 1 she started really rejecting food and it’s been a real struggle since. We have met with dieticians and a paediatrician on this issue as well with very little help given. They felt it was a stage. I don’t think stages start from birth, they were very unhelpful in general. So we have struggled with it and continue to. She eats bout 15-18 different types of healthy foods. We have tried multiple methods for months at a time to encourage new foods but they consistently are rejected. The list of food just gets smaller as she gets older as well. It’s very frustrating but we are doing all we can I believe. We are going for a second opinion very soon and are hopeful for answers but feel it’s pretty unlikely. Again we have done exactly the same thing with our second baby and he’s a ferocious eater and usually eats double what his sister does so I feel it’s again something going on and not our approach.

She is very small for her age height wise. Her weight is average around 30lbs but she is just 34inches. Which is in the average range for a 24month old. I do wonder if her small palette for eating and lack of sleep contributes to this. Hoping one day we will know.

Over all she’s generally happy, loves to play and colour/draw and is a good little girl. She amazes me everyday and love watching her grow.

Baby 2 is one today

So it’s been a whole year since I’ve blogged anything. Life with two little ones is a lot sometimes.

I’m happy to report everyone is doing well. Breastfeeding went well, never needed to pump or supplement formula. I didn’t develop PPD this time, which I’m incredibly thankful about.

I had planned on encapsulating my placenta to help with PPD and milk supply ( works for some and not at all for others) but the nurse disposed of it despite asking my midwife and a nurse before hand not to. Alas it happened and there wasn’t anything that could be done. In the end I didn’t need it and am thankful for that.

Baby developed normally, sat up, crawled and started walking all at the right times or before. He’s not nearly as talkative as our first, he can say momma, dada, dog and sit. He can shake his head no and nod his head yes, he does do high fives, waves hi and bye and love peekaboo. He’s generally very happy, a great napper and until recently a good night sleeper. He’s got 8 teeth and 2 more coming in. He’s in 9m clothes but our growing the sleepers.

He’s napping at 10 am and 2 pm for about an hour – hour and half ea. He’s asleep by 7 pm and wakes about 6/630am. He’s sleeping down quite a bit the last week or two on nursing but his solids intake is very good so I’m not very worried. He drinks water through out the day and generally is nursing before naps, before bed, during the night as sometimes one or twice for a min or two through out the day. I’m happy with that. I’m not ready to wean and hope to continue for quite a while longer but happy not to be nursing all the time (every hour or two) anymore.

He’s a petite guy. Not exactly sure on his weight or height but definitely on the small side.

He’s a very handsome little guy. He constantly gets complimented on his big eyes and dark lashes. He’s always generous with smiles.

He loves his big sisters and especially terrorizing his 3 y/o sister.

He’s very active and loves to climb, run, walk, and move everywhere. I often have to contain him. Luckily he still enjoys the baby carrier when we are out.

Welcome to the world little man

Aug 14 my water started to leak Around 4pm.

Went to the grocery store not entirely sure that was the case but while I was there I felt two small gushes while walking around. When I got home I told my hubby and he called the midwife.

I met her at her office about an hour later 645 pm she took a sample and ran a couple tests and determined it to indeed be a break/leak. Which makes me some sort of weird statistic as only 1/10 women’s water break before labour starts.

She informed me of my options, knowing I was not wanting to be induced as I was with my first after my water broke and labour didn’t happen.

Option one go to the hospital to be induced.

Option two wait out the night, see if labour happened on its own and if not go get induced around noon.

Option three wait out the night and drink an “induction” cocktail (also called verbena cocktail) and see if that can kick start labour.

I picked option 3. Little did I know how disgusting the cocktail would be. Nastiest drink ever.

So I slept really well through out the night and woke up about 7am. No labour, no nothing. Made up the cocktail at 830, you have to drink it over 1/2 an hour. Called the midwife let know nothing had happened and i had drank the cocktail. She said it takes 4-6 hours to kick in and to call her at 1pm.

1pm comes around and I’m feeling pretty gross and crampy. I call the midwife and she says ok, well let’s wait another hour and if nothing happens we will meet at the hospital to start an induction. I agree. About 15 mins later I’m feeling worse and run a bath. My mom comes and picks up our very grouchy toddler. Just as the bath finishes i start having contractions, I have 3 in 6 mins and my husband calls the midwife and she asks what’s going on. He asks me and I just tell him we are going to the hospital. We get there a bit before 2 and he tells the nurses we are having a baby. We get put into room 11.

My midwife shows up confused. She explains normally you get assessed before getting a room or admitted but she checks me, I’m at 3cms and my contractions are every 1/2 mins. We staying.

She runs a bath for me as I’m having a hard time breathing through the contractions now. I get into the bath and have instant relief. Pain goes back down to a 1 or 2.

My dad shows up and my husband stays in the room with him while i labour in the tub with the midwife spraying my back with hot water. About 3:15 and lots of changing positions, I decide I need to change my environment.

I kick my dad out and move to the base of the bed with a labouring ball. Pain is about 7 or 8 but I’m doing okay, hubby and my midwife are rubbing my back during each contraction about 3:35 pain shoots to a 9 and I ask for gas and air. Around 3:45 pain hits a 10 and I ask for an epidural ( I am thinking at this point I have hours and hours of labour left ).

The gas and air makes me feel really foggy and I have a hard time stopping taking it cause the pain is too much. I have a contraction and my husband says my knees gave out and I was in obviously extreme pain. I asked for an epidural again.

My midwife knew it wasn’t in my plan so she was trying to encourage me to get through it but I was insistent. After that crazy contraction though she was saying she needed to see what I was at before I could get an epidural. I got on to the table and she checked me quickly and said I was at a 7. It was 4;00 pm. Next contraction I get on my hands and knees and she says omg there’s a baby’s head, your pushing! The room fills with confused nurses and my husband says one nurse walks in with a handful of paper work to be signed for the epidural totally casually and my midwife is like never mind that, the baby is coming right now. She high tails it out and comes back with a team to deliver our baby.

I’m a total mess, still feeling off from the gas and air, confused about what’s going on. I had no idea I was pushing. I actually feel slightly traumatized by how fast it all happened now.

Our baby boy was born at 4:04pm Aug 15th. 2 and half hours of active labour and just two hours after getting to the hospital.

Baby and I are both doing well and were able to get early release. We took a couple visitors and left the hospital by 8pm.

6lbs 6oz

26 Months

My amazing little red head is 2.

Ready to become a big sister.

She talks in full sentences. Has been for 4 ish months (but painfully quiet around new people)

A fire cracker as she has been since pretty much birth.

Loves her stuffies and dollies

She loves helping bake

She’s great with independent play

Working on playing with other 2 y/os but great with old kids

Knows her manners

Loves her Daddy

Still not a great eater, quite particular

Loves to be outside and swimming

Loves books and reading

Recent love for Paw patrol much to my dismay…

Loves princesses and watching frozen

Was on the potty training wagon but we moved and motivation/interest is totally gone for now

25 lbs 31 inches (very short)

Size 2t clothes but some 18m stuff still fits fine. Size 6 shoes.

39 week

Due Date: Aug 20

How far along: 39 weeks

Baby is the size of: Mini watermelon

Total weight gain: +10 lbs

Maternity clothes: All the clothes

Symptoms:

Is huge a symptom?

Irritable

Heart burn and shortness of breath have let up since baby dropped last week

All the contractions, not regularly and productive but painful and causes me to be sore all the time

Tired

Hungry

Pelvis pain

Cervix pain

Swollen feet and hands

Skin pealing off my feet thanks to swelling

Slightly elevated BP

A bit of spotting from the stretch and sweep yesterday

Waking every 1/2 during the night cause why not

Peeing

Thirsty all the time

Sleep: Worse then ever. Anxiety is so bad. Baby wakes me up constantly. Who needs sleep anyway.

Belly Button in or out? In, 😦 was so hopeful for an outty but not going to happen

Wedding rings on or off? Off, they need resizing

Movement: Always active, no idea when he sleeps. Head down ready for birth

Food cravings: Food, I’m always hungry. Baby’s growing up a storm

Anything make you sick or queasy: No

Miss Anything? Keeping up with my 2 y/o. Sleeping (lol), hands not hurting, wearing different clothes, not being irritated by everything.

Meds taken: Tums sometimes

Labor signs: all the signs, no baby yet. Come on baby!

Happy or Moody: Moody.

Gender: Boy

Best Moment(s) of the Week: best and worst, thinking he was coming on Friday.

Looking forward to: Meeting baby, less for child birth but I’ll handle it well hopefully.

Purchases for baby: Lots of things id like to buy him, don’t really need anything though

Purchases for mom: Nothing

Notes: Super clingy toddler for the last few days!

Baby bump:

25 weeks

Due Date: Aug 22 (thought it was August 20th until today when I read a letter my midwife wrote oops)

How far along: 25w 3d

Baby is the size of: rutabaga

Total weight gain: +3lbs due to being over weight I’m recommended to gain a maximum of 15lbs. So far so good.

Maternity Clothes: 100%. Has been since around 10 weeks.

Stretch Marks: Yup, quite a big bigger this time round. Looks like tiger stripes

Symptoms:

Tired. Always.

No motivation

Often sciatic nerve pain as well as round ligament pain. Though it’s getting better since I was advised to stop picking up my almost two year old.

Is being huge a symptom?

Slight swelling in my feet

Thirsty right before bed

Sleep: Horrible. Never longer then 6 hours according to my sleep app.

Belly Button in or out? In, hoping for an outty this time at some point though.

Wedding rings on or off? Off, it needs to be resized, hasn’t fit since last pregnancy.

Movement: Always, I do wonder when he sleeps

Food cravings: Everything. Have to actually think about how much I eat, I usually eat until I’m full, ya that doesn’t work anymore.

Anything make you sick or queasy: No. Not since first trimester.

Miss Anything? Sushi. My main craving! Have to be satisfied with California rolls not the same 😦

Meds taken: prenatal and folic acid

Labor signs: None

Happy or Moody: Moody

Gender Prediction: A boy.

Best Moment(s) of the Week: Passed the gestational diabetes test with great numbers. Babies heart beat 140-145. Fundal measurements were 28in, so a bit big. Normal range at 25 weeks is 23-27 in, but midwife wasn’t worried. Also hitting viability last week

Looking forward to: Getting into the 3rd trimester

Purchases for baby: Still haven’t bought anything for him

Purchases for mom: I need to buy some bras but nothing yet.

February 15th 2018

Since I feel no one else in my life would care and this is a safe space. I’m proud to announce we’ve gone 24 hours without nursing, 6 months of soft weaning has worked finally. ( our original plan before she was born was to nurse until she was 2) It’s been a very very rough journey.

During my first pregnancy my breasts didn’t change much, they were tender but size stayed the same. After 24 hours in labour she was born and latched like a champ. Luckily no ties. My milk came in within an hour of her birth. Though I never felt engorgement Hey . Due to he having jaundice we didn’t release us for 48 hrs after birth. I had originally wanted a home birth as the hospital gives me anxiety really badly. I didn’t sleep for 36 hours straight . I was very stressed out but thought I had nursing in the bag. River dropped weight, and drop more weight. I was nursing her non stop. Our first day home the public health nurse came to our home to check out her weight gain And bilirubin levels. Her jaundice wasn’t getting better and she had lost more weight. She recommended I start pumping after nursing. So I did.

I fed her, pumped then fed her then pumped all day long for two more days. When I had to go to the public health unit on grant to check her levels again. Her jaundice wasn’t better and she hadn’t gained weight. They said I needed to supplement with formula to help move the bilirubin out and have her gain weight. So we did.

I fed her, pumped, topped her up with bottle. Half an hour later I fed her again and on and on. I was doing everything to try and get my supply up. I really didn’t want to take medication, but after two weeks of no improvement, I did.

I continued on this way getting 1 to 3 hours a night cumulatively waking every hour to nurse her and pump during the night for 4 months after. I was dedicated to breastfeeding. After 3 years of my body failing me to get pregnant, I was determined for it not to defeat me.

I started to get depressed, I couldn’t go out with the schedule I had, I had my husbands support in breastfeeding but he saw what it was doing to me and wanted me to stay sane, he urged me to supplement more to get more sleep. I didn’t.

Instead at 5 and a half months old I started her solids in hopes to get her off formula. I believe I ruined her experience with solid food because I pushed it so hard. I had/have so much guilt.

At 6 Months I stopped pumping.

At 7 months she was finally only getting one bottle a night of formula, with some solids and the rest breast milk.

By 8 month We were able to drop that last bottle, but she was resisting solids, we did baby led solids. I was still nursing her at least every two hours during the day and more or less during the night depending on her calorie intake during the day.

At 12 Months I was so done. We had been trying for a couple months for baby number two, my period was all over the place. So at 13 Months I started to try and space out nursing to every 4 hours. Within two days I had mastitis, rushed to the er with fevers and chills. I started in antibiotics for the next 4 days. I continued to nurse her every 4 hours though.

She continued to eat very little solids but slowly I weaned her off day nursing and she increased her solids.

3 months ago we got pregnant nursing became excruciatingly painful.

Last month we were down to just nap time and bed time and once during the night.

Two weeks ago just nap and bedtime.

Last week just bedtime.

I’m so proud of our journey and I hope the journey will be easier round 2.

The doctor did diagnose me with low breast tissue density in the end.