Welcome to the world little man

Aug 14 my water started to leak Around 4pm.

Went to the grocery store not entirely sure that was the case but while I was there I felt two small gushes while walking around. When I got home I told my hubby and he called the midwife.

I met her at her office about an hour later 645 pm she took a sample and ran a couple tests and determined it to indeed be a break/leak. Which makes me some sort of weird static as only 1/10 women’s water break before labour starts.

She informed me of my options, knowing I was not wanting to be induced as I was with my first after my water broke and labour didn’t happen.

Option one go to the hospital to be induced.

Option two wait out the night, see if labour happened on its own and if not go get induced around noon.

Option three wait out the night and drink an “induction” cocktail (also called verbena cocktail) and see if that can kick start labour.

I picked option 3. Little did I know how disgusting the cocktail would be. Nastiest drink ever.

So I slept really well through out the night and woke up about 7am. No labour, no nothing. Made up the cocktail at 830, you have to drink it over 1/2 an hour. Called the midwife let know nothing had happened and i had drank the cocktail. She said it takes 4-6 hours to kick in and to call her at 1pm.

1pm comes around and I’m feeling pretty gross and crampy. I call the midwife and she says ok, well let’s wait another hour and if nothing happens we will meet at the hospital to start an induction. I agree. About 15 mins later I’m feeling worse and run a bath. My mom comes and picks up our very grouchy toddler. Just as the bath finishes i start having contractions, I have 3 in 6 mins and my husband calls the midwife and she asks what’s going on. He asks me and I just tell him we are going to the hospital. We get there a bit before 2 and he tells the nurses we are having a baby. We get put into room 11.

My midwife shows up confused. She explains normally you get assessed before getting a room or admitted but she checks me, I’m at 3cms and my contractions are every 11/2 mins. We staying.

She runs a bath for me as I’m having a hard time breathing through the contractions now. I get into the bath and have instant relief. Pain goes back down to a 1 or 2.

My dad shows up and my husband stays in the room with him while i labour in the tub with the midwife spraying my back with hot water. About 3:15 and lots of changing positions, I decide I need to change my environment.

I kick my dad out and move to the base of the bed with a labouring ball. Pain is about 7 or 8 but I’m doing okay, hubby and my midwife are rubbing my back during each contraction about 3:35 pain shoots to a 9 and I ask for gas and air. Around 3:45 pain hits a 10 and I ask for an epidural ( I am thinking at this point I have hours and hours of labour left ).

The gas and air makes me feel really foggy and I have a hard time stopping taking it cause the pain is too much. I have a contraction and my husband says my knees gave out and I was in obviously extreme pain. I asked for an epidural again.

My midwife knew it wasn’t in my plan so she was trying to encourage me to get through it but I was insistent. After that crazy contraction though she was saying she needed to see what I was at before I could get an epidural. I got on to the table and she checked me quickly and said I was at a 7. It was 4;00 pm. Next contraction I get on my hands and knees and she says omg there’s a baby’s head, your pushing! The room fills with confused nurses and my husband says one nurse walks in with a handful of paper work to be signed for the epidural totally casually and my midwife is like never mind that, the baby is coming right now. She high tails it out and comes back with a team to deliver our baby.

I’m a total mess, still feeling off from the gas and air, confused about what’s going on. I had no idea I was pushing. I actually feel slightly traumatized by how fast it all happened now.

Our baby boy was born at 4:04pm Aug 15th. 2 and half hours of active labour and just two hours after getting to the hospital.

Baby and I are both doing well and were able to get early release. We took a couple visitors and left the hospital by 8pm.


26 Months

My amazing little red head is 2.

Ready to become a big sister.

She takes in full sentences. Has been for 4 ish months (but painfully quite around new people)

A fire cracker as she has been since pretty much birth.

Loves her stuffies and dollies

She loves helping bake

She’s great with independent play

Working on playing with other 2 y/os but great with old kids

Knows manners

Loves her Daddy

Still not a great eater, quite particular

Loves to be outside and swimming

Loves books and reading

Recent love for Paw patrol much to my dismay…

Loves princesses and watching frozen

Was on the potty training wagon but we moved and motivation/interest is totally gone for now

25 lbs 31 inches (very short)

Size 2t clothes but some 18m stuff still fits fine. Size 6 shoes.

39 week

Due Date: Aug 20

How far along: 39 weeks

Baby is the size of: Mini watermelon

Total weight gain: +10 lbs

Maternity clothes: All the clothes


Is huge a symptom?


Heart burn and shortness of breath have let up since baby dropped last week

All the contractions, not regularly and productive but painful and causes me to be sore all the time



Pelvis pain

Cervix pain

Swollen feet and hands

Skin pealing off my feet thanks to swelling

Slightly elevated BP

A bit of spotting from the stretch and sweep yesterday

Waking every 1/2 during the night cause why not


Thirsty all the time

Sleep: Worse then ever. Anxiety is so bad. Baby wakes me up constantly. Who needs sleep anyway.

Belly Button in or out? In, 😦 was so hopeful for an outty but not going to happen

Wedding rings on or off? Off, they need resizing

Movement: Always active, no idea when he sleeps. Head down ready for birth

Food cravings: Food, I’m always hungry. Baby’s growing up a storm

Anything make you sick or queasy: No

Miss Anything? Keeping up with my 2 y/o. Sleeping (lol), hands not hurting, wearing different clothes, not being irritated by everything.

Meds taken: Tums sometimes

Labor signs: all the signs, no baby yet. Come on baby!

Happy or Moody: Moody.

Gender: Boy

Best Moment(s) of the Week: best and worst, thinking he was coming on Friday.

Looking forward to: Meeting baby, less for child birth but I’ll handle it well hopefully.

Purchases for baby: Lots of things id like to buy him, don’t really need anything though

Purchases for mom: Nothing

Notes: Super clingy toddler for the last few days!

Baby bump:

25 weeks

Due Date: Aug 22 (thought it was August 20th until today when I read a letter my midwife wrote oops)

How far along: 25w 3d

Baby is the size of: rutabaga

Total weight gain: +3lbs due to being over weight I’m recommended to gain a maximum of 15lbs. So far so good.

Maternity Clothes: 100%. Has been since around 10 weeks.

Stretch Marks: Yup, quite a big bigger this time round. Looks like tiger stripes


Tired. Always.

No motivation

Often sciatic nerve pain as well as round ligament pain. Though it’s getting better since I was advised to stop picking up my almost two year old.

Is being huge a symptom?

Slight swelling in my feet

Thirsty right before bed

Sleep: Horrible. Never longer then 6 hours according to my sleep app.

Belly Button in or out? In, hoping for an outty this time at some point though.

Wedding rings on or off? Off, it needs to be resized, hasn’t fit since last pregnancy.

Movement: Always, I do wonder when he sleeps

Food cravings: Everything. Have to actually think about how much I eat, I usually eat until I’m full, ya that doesn’t work anymore.

Anything make you sick or queasy: No. Not since first trimester.

Miss Anything? Sushi. My main craving! Have to be satisfied with California rolls not the same 😦

Meds taken: prenatal and folic acid

Labor signs: None

Happy or Moody: Moody

Gender Prediction: A boy.

Best Moment(s) of the Week: Passed the gestational diabetes test with great numbers. Babies heart beat 140-145. Fundal measurements were 28in, so a bit big. Normal range at 25 weeks is 23-27 in, but midwife wasn’t worried. Also hitting viability last week

Looking forward to: Getting into the 3rd trimester

Purchases for baby: Still haven’t bought anything for him

Purchases for mom: I need to buy some bras but nothing yet.

February 15th 2018

Since I feel no one else in my life would care and this is a safe space. I’m proud to announce we’ve gone 24 hours without nursing, 6 months of soft weaning has worked finally. ( our original plan before she was born was to nurse until she was 2) It’s been a very very rough journey.

During my first pregnancy my breasts didn’t change much, they were tender but size stayed the same. After 24 hours in labour she was born and latched like a champ. Luckily no ties. My milk came in within an hour of her birth. Though I never felt engorgement Hey . Due to he having jaundice we didn’t release us for 48 hrs after birth. I had originally wanted a home birth as the hospital gives me anxiety really badly. I didn’t sleep for 36 hours straight . I was very stressed out but thought I had nursing in the bag. River dropped weight, and drop more weight. I was nursing her non stop. Our first day home the public health nurse came to our home to check out her weight gain And bilirubin levels. Her jaundice wasn’t getting better and she had lost more weight. She recommended I start pumping after nursing. So I did.

I fed her, pumped then fed her then pumped all day long for two more days. When I had to go to the public health unit on grant to check her levels again. Her jaundice wasn’t better and she hadn’t gained weight. They said I needed to supplement with formula to help move the bilirubin out and have her gain weight. So we did.

I fed her, pumped, topped her up with bottle. Half an hour later I fed her again and on and on. I was doing everything to try and get my supply up. I really didn’t want to take medication, but after two weeks of no improvement, I did.

I continued on this way getting 1 to 3 hours a night cumulatively waking every hour to nurse her and pump during the night for 4 months after. I was dedicated to breastfeeding. After 3 years of my body failing me to get pregnant, I was determined for it not to defeat me.

I started to get depressed, I couldn’t go out with the schedule I had, I had my husbands support in breastfeeding but he saw what it was doing to me and wanted me to stay sane, he urged me to supplement more to get more sleep. I didn’t.

Instead at 5 and a half months old I started her solids in hopes to get her off formula. I believe I ruined her experience with solid food because I pushed it so hard. I had/have so much guilt.

At 6 Months I stopped pumping.

At 7 months she was finally only getting one bottle a night of formula, with some solids and the rest breast milk.

By 8 month We were able to drop that last bottle, but she was resisting solids, we did baby led solids. I was still nursing her at least every two hours during the day and more or less during the night depending on her calorie intake during the day.

At 12 Months I was so done. We had been trying for a couple months for baby number two, my period was all over the place. So at 13 Months I started to try and space out nursing to every 4 hours. Within two days I had mastitis, rushed to the er with fevers and chills. I started in antibiotics for the next 4 days. I continued to nurse her every 4 hours though.

She continued to eat very little solids but slowly I weaned her off day nursing and she increased her solids.

3 months ago we got pregnant nursing became excruciatingly painful.

Last month we were down to just nap time and bed time and once during the night.

Two weeks ago just nap and bedtime.

Last week just bedtime.

I’m so proud of our journey and I hope the journey will be easier round 2.

The doctor did diagnose me with low breast tissue density in the end.

19.5 months

Our little baby is getting so big! It’s been great and tough the last 6 months. She’s an avid talker, around 120-150 words. She’s stating to string them together like “I don’t want” “yes please yogurt” “I want out” it’s amazing to see how fast it’s all coming together. I love being able to better communicate with her.

She’s about 24lbs and 20inches.

She’s still not running but has been a steady walker since 12.5 months. She climbs stuff, but we luckily dont have a climber. She likes to get into her chair by herself and on the couch to cuddle, she’s been trying to get books from a higher shelf is about the scariest climbing she’s done.

Her hair is finally coming in, it’s not getting longer fast but it is getting thicker and red as ever, though my husband was saying her felt it may be copper more then true red. One day I’ll be able to do something with it I hope.

Her eyes are still blue so they will probably stay blue for her lifetime. They are the same blue as my moms, so beautiful, a pale sky blue colour.

She’s wearing mostly 18 month clothes and some 2T stuff. Her shoes are size 5 (and she has like 100 pairs).

She’s moody as ever, so many tantrums a day. They started around 10 months and haven’t slowed down since. She is one very determined little girl. Luckily only one public melt down, due to me not letting her chew on the wrapped block of cheese before we had paid for it. She was tired and had a nap on the way home so that was probably the main reason.

She’s got quite a few friends these days and we get together regularly with two groups of mostly the same kids each week. One through church and one through healthy Beginings (we all aged out at 6 months but continued to meet else where). So far she plays well with others but mostly enjoys playing by herself. I’m anticipating the coming of warmer weather again, I miss the beach and park trips multiple times a week.

Life has been so hectic, I started a non profit at the beginning of July, I collect kids clothes and post each piece onto a Facebook page and people pic and choose what they would like. I’ve helped so many family’s and everyone’s so generous with their donations but I have a hard time keeping up with it at times. I haven’t been working On it nearly as much as I should be. Hopefully I can recommit to it and get it running smoothly again soon.

Anyway there is so much more to add and hopefully I’ll have time to write again soon but for now at least I got some of it down.

13 months 

This last month has flown by! We kept so busy and I hate to say but being a mom to a walking l/o is so much more fun. She just loves going! She is so curious and always has been but now she can go check out all the stuff she wants to see. 

We have been getting out to do fun stuff several times a week, lately going to the beach/water has been a top priority with this wonderful weather we are having. Not long after her birthday, we went to the beach for the first time and we have been back many times since. We love the sandy beaches with tidal pools, she can run and roam freely without tripping too much. We have been to the park a lot as well. Before parks weren’t too much fun but now that she’s walking, she likes going down the slide and running around and checking out all the different parts though, the swing is still a favorite. 

Developmentally things are good, she wants to have us read books to her all the time, she brings us books constantly. We both love books so it’s a great feeling that she’s getting our passion. She thinks everything is a phone and holds it up to her ear to check. She fallows simple commands, ‘can you bring this to mommy’ ‘ come here’. She’s knows quite a few words, mom/mama/ma, dad/dada/daaa, kitty, dog, bark, duck, deer, hi/hiiii, baby, baba, no, up, what’s that? That?. She nods and shakes her head. She carries stuffies and her babies around, sometimes carries more then one at a time. She is understanding a lot that we say. She’s remembering people more often. Less strange with family/friends we see monthly rather then weekly. 

I got mastitis a week or so after her birthday and my friends were awesome and watched her while I was receiving IV antibiotics at the hospital for 4 days. It was our first time being apart for 7 hours (4 hours before then) and she did great and even napped for my friend which was really surprising to me as she pretty much exclusively naps after being nursed. Luckily it cleared up the day after I ended the IV antibiotics, horrible stuff.

 I got mastitis as we were starting to slowly wean, I just nursed her one time less a day and within 3 days I had it. Luckily it’s been a lot more successful since. As a disclaimer I wanted to have her self wean and I believe if you can nursing until two its important but I am just done with it. I’m hoping the next baby ( when we have one) will be different but it’s been such a stress and struggle the whole time she’s been around and I want to not have that anymore. So after a month we went from 5 times a day to just 2 or 3. Sometimes in the morning depending how sleep was the night before, before her nap and before bed. 

We have always had a real struggle getting her to sleep but we have implemented her on a schedule and it’s been such a big difference. I have always been really against schedules but I couldnt survive anymore it was taking 3-5 hours to get her to sleep at night. She was unhappy and grouchy all the time and so was I. I thought we would give it a try and the first week it didn’t help night time sleep at all but drastically improved going down for naps. So we decided to try doing one nap a day instead of two, with a rigid bedtime and bam. She’s goes to sleep for her nap and bedtime no problem at all. It was like magic! 15 mins tops. I get my evening back and my sanity. As an introvert I desperately need alone time and time with my husband without her. I was sacrificing my sleep to get that time and now I don’t have too. 

She’s eating a lot more solids now that we are nursing less. I worried she would starve herself as a month ago she was barely eating any solids but it was just time I guess, I struggle a bit finding food she likes, but I try not to worry about that too much. She eats what we eat but about 1/4 of the amount we do. 

She’s in 12-18 m clothes and size 4 shoes. 

She’s 22lbs and has been for a few months. 

She had a visit to the emergency as she swallowed something. It never showed up and we don’t know what it was but it cut her mouth going down and she choked on it quite a bit. She got her first X-ray. Nothing showed up. Scary couple hours though. We think it was a wood chip or something that was digestible. 

One year old.

A very berry first birthday party 

Our girl is finally a year old. The days are long and the months are short, I keep getting reminders with photos on my phone “one year ago” and well of course I have baby fever now. My husband and I haven’t used protection since being pregnancy and now I feel I’m ready to actually get pregnant again, so here’s hoping. 

Little munchkin is now a toddler, days before her birthday she started walking independently. She’s been cruising on furniture for awhile now but it’s amazing how quickly it went from one step to walking across the house without stumbling. Took less than a week. Im wondering what it will look like in another week! 

Sleep is still a tough point. She seems to be transitioning to one nap a day which I just read is super late but I don’t fallow milestone so I can’t say much else about that. She’s taking a really short nap around noon then a 1-2 hr nap later on usually starting  3ish. About 9/10 times it takes at least an hour to put her down for bed for night usually start around 730 or 8 but sometimes takes up to 3 hours to get her to stay asleep. She’s a decent sleeper when she’s down though. Up 2 or 3 times a night to nurse, my nights are still a blur and up for the day around 730-830. 

We got peanut a small baby doll for her birthday and a little stroller. She also received a bigger talking/laughing doll from her paternal grandfather. A bubble making lawn mower from my landscaper dad and Sleepers from my mom. 

We did loads of gardening leading up to her birthday so the yard looks lovely, it’s been so nice to just let her run wild out there, play in her inch of water in the kiddy pool or push around her little lawn mower and turn on her bubble maker. Makes for a lovely hour or so. 

She’s eating lots of solids all of a sudden and only nursing 3 or 4 times a day now. Not that weening is a priority but our breastfeeding journey has been a nightmare from the beginning and I’m looking forward for it to be over. I hope if we are blessed to have another baby it will be smoother. So I am gently and slowly trying to replace nursing. Getting up in the morning instead of nursing her to try and get more sleep, I still nurse to sleep for her two naps and to bed at night, but if she stirs I’m trying to shush and pat instead nursing her right away. I’ve never been a ‘nurse her for every little thing’ so at least I dont have to break that habit. Hoping in about 2-3 months we will be weened at least during the day. 

In other news we are hoping to get pregnant again, though we aren’t BDing as often as we need to, we are no longer concerned if it was to happen. Cross your fingers our infertility has resolved itself as the specialist says it can do after being pregnant. If not, in 6 months we will seek help out. 

11 months old

So we are coming in on the homestretch. I’m so excited for her birthday, we haven’t gotten to celebrate any birthdays with my older daughter as of yet and I didn’t have birthdays for the first 5 years due to a religion my parents we involved in so I’m going over the top for our little peanut. Maybe it’s excessive but I really don’t care. We have a jumping castle planned, ball pit for the babies, bubbles and sidewalk chalk, BBQ for lunch. I’m enjoying every bit of it so far! 

Our little baby is getting so big, she’s 22lbs. She’s got 11 teeth, 3 of them are her first molars, she’s eating lots of solids now that the most recent teeth have broken thru and just nursing before naps and before bed. She’s still up a fair amount to nurse during the night but last night she slept almost the whole night in her crib, side car. She’s almost walking, and was trying to run today. 

She’s the apple of our eye, I love every bit of her even when she’s fussy, and making me crazy.  She’s ‘talking’ all the time, mostly non words but quite a few actual words are sneaking thru ; mama, dada, up, kitty, hi, bye, this? A couple others but I feel she’s going to be a real chatter box in a few months. 

She’s still taking two naps a day, or three is the first two are short. But mostly two longer naps, which has been great for getting stuff done, cleaning, crafting, cooking etc.

Forgot to mention she’s also obsessed with sticking her tongue out ATM. Also she still hates getting her diaper changed, so much. 

10 months / 30 things 

  1. Almost walking.
  2. Walking along furniture.
  3. Still army crawling (once in a while going to knees but usually only if she’s about to pull herself up to standing)
  4. 7 teeth and currently working on her first molar (bottom left) .
  5. Mostly 12m clothes, a few 6-12/9m still
  6. Doesn’t use her soother at all now.
  7. 2oz bottle every other night or less often .
  8. Drinks out of a dippy cup with a straw
  9. Eating more solids than last month when all those teeth started coming in.
  10. Weights over 21lbs at 9m check up.
  11. Still biting a lot while nursing.
  12. Saying single words with meaning mama, dada, duck, kitty, hi and without yes, poop
  13. ‘Reading’ books, will open then and flip the pages, look st the pages, babble while holding. Also brings us a book to read to her.
  14. Starting to enjoy music, ‘dancing’ calming down while music is playing, ‘singing’ along.
  15. Her eyes seem to be staying the same light blue since around 4 or 5 months
  16. We have been looking for her bday party dress, strawberry themed. 
  17. Napping 2-3 times a day 1-3 hours total.
  18. Size 4 disposables , side note; still hates diaper changes and disposables are being used more and more often as I just don’t have it in me to fight her all the time. 
  19. Daddy and her hung out for 4 hours while mommy and grama went and saw beauty and the beast and she didn’t cry at all. 
  20. Was able to see her sister 3 times this month. 
  21. Enjoying mesh feeder with frozen blended watermelon /purred fruit.
  22. Enjoying feeding herself entirely now. Attempting to introduce cutlery.
  23. Starting to introduce the potty. So far two successful pees. She enjoys just sitting on it and being read to or reading /playing with a toy. Just trying once a day. This move is entirely because of her extreme hate of diaper changes.
  24. Still hates her car seat and car rides.
  25. Still only tolerates slings and carriers. 
  26. We have been going on walks at least once a day which she loves. Usually 20-60 mins. We’ve gone rain or shine the last two weeks without missing a day. 
  27. Still hates sleep.
  28. Recognizes grama even if she hadn’t been around for a while. 
  29. Loves blueberries above all else. 
  30.  Size 3 shoe